Shipping is Magic
Introducing Carlos: a progression brought to you by the (absolutely smitten) voice of Night Vale, Cecil...
Cecil: Perfect Carlos.
Cecil: MY Carlos.
Cecil: Perfectly-imperfect Carlos.
Cecil: My perfectly-imperfect BOYFRIEND, Carlos.
Cecil: My perfectly-imperfect SCIENTIST BOYFRIEND, Carlos.
Cecil: MY HERO SCIENTIST PERFECTLY-IMPERFECT BOYFRIEND, CARLOS.
Cecil: Have I mentioned my perfectly-imperfect scientist boyfriend Carlos on the show before??? Like ever?????? Because he's a hero. A. HERO.
My brother: What are you watching?
Me: It's a radio show thing.
My brother: ...Sounds pretty gay.
Me: *bursts out laughing*
Me: Oh lord
Me: Jesus take the wheel
Me: Yeah it's pretty gay.
I just broke 70 blogs I follow!

regal-masquerade:

uristmccheesemaker:

forthenerd:

what what

Follow more blogs, that way your dash will be too messy to find anything and you’ll forget which blogs you’re actually following and never see any important posts from your friends, just like me!

image

bruh

…. I think you have a problem

I just broke 70 blogs I follow!

what what

That fanfic moment when…

officer1bdi:

forthenerd:

I want to read this Cecilos fic for the Ms. Frizzle as Cecil’s aunt and Carlos as her former student…
But I’m not sure how to feel about the heavy Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert shipping in here too.

image

How many universes are involved in this crossover?

*shrugs* At least 3 I guess?? Link to the fic is here

min-min-minnie:

Doodled some Carloses while re-listening to Condos last night. :)

Stay Positive shirt

Scientifically speaking, Carlos is actually most adorable scientist ever created.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via kushandwizdom)

God bless you Big Poppa E

(via princess-cookie-chucklebutt)

Ready for the semester to begin.

(I made burritos)